Children: 10 Rules To Make Them Obey Without Screaming
One of the first behaviors to have in order to be obeyed by children is that of changing the type of communication. Being bossy doesn't mean yelling and using force to impose your own ideas through exaggerated and inappropriate tones. This behavior could be imitated by children and especially misinterpreted.
On the contrary, we must develop an educational language . Changing the type of communication will help the education of children without developing an attitude of defiance towards what is prohibited. Any ban should be accompanied by a logical explanation as to why it should not be done. Only then will there be no provocative attitudes towards authority.
2) Non-verbal communication
Another educational rule for making yourself obeyed is radical change of attitude . Wrongly, children, tortured by continuous screaming, might understand that only those who scream are right and that they have the right to impose their own ideas, and so they will no longer obey.
non-verbal communication plays a fundamental role in children's education . A direct gaze accompanied by a calm and determined tone of voice will command respect and thus parents will be more assertive and firm. Children will understand in this way that it is only through dialogue and a calm tone that you can get what you want, without having to raise your voice to be listened to.
3) An appropriate language
When explaining rules to children the use of impersonal and objective language is extremely important, without using the imperative which might elicit opposite reactions >. In addition, it is important to explain why certain behaviors are not appropriate.
Thus, the child will learn the rules without seeing them as restrictions thanks to objective explanations . You should therefore replace the classic phrase "whose fault is it?" "With" What happened? ", And so the actual reasons for what happened will be brought to light.
4) Self-checking
The self-control does not happen spontaneously, it is a behavioral exercise that requires a lot of consistency and commitment . After a long day at work where you have accumulated a lot of stress, it may happen that you add excessive emotional weight to the cries aimed at children.
So it would be good to differentiate the emotions of the moment without adding the moods that do not belong to this fact. When blood pressure increases, it is important for adults to find space to relieve themselves, without spilling their own tensions on their children.
5) Autonomy
Developing the independence and fostering autonomy of the little ones is fundamental to helping them become autonomous adults capable of growing up respecting the rules imposed by civil society.
Continuously helping them with the simplest activities: getting dressed, tying the shoes and preparing the schoolbag, helps you save a lot of time but will not help them develop their skills. potential . Learning how to do this will help them feel more secure and confident.
6) Establish a ritual
good habits should be taken as soon as possible. With the help of small life rituals , the child becomes more sensitive to the rules that surround his daily life, such as making his bed and then having breakfast or even potty before going to bed. sleep.
You have to be rigorous from the first years. Be careful not to let go at first. This stubbornness will be rewarded in the long run!
7) Respect your own limits
To maintain stable relationships with your child, you must also take care of yourself and respect your own limits. If your child pushes you too frequently, you may end up saying things you don’t mean.
When the breaking point is near, go get some fresh air and babysit your child for a few hours. Knowing how to recognize your limits also means being a parent!
8) Parents, agree!
There is nothing worse than contradicting your mate in front of your children if you disagree about education. "It is much easier and more efficient to speak with one voice so as not to discredit the other parent in the eyes of the child." Explains Anne Bacus, author of the book "100 ways to be obeyed (without screaming or spanking)".
It is best to let the first parent who sees their child's stupidity decide the punishment and not interfere afterwards. By supporting each other, the couple strengthens their authority and commands respect.
9) Avoid saying "no" all the time
Nothing is more annoying than saying " no " to your child all day long. It is tiring for the child who thinks there is nothing he can do and for the parent who often feels like a hangman!
To get around this negative word, learn to ban with other words or in a different way.
10) Free yourself from guilt! You don't have to do anything to be loved
Confusing authority with seduction, many parents forget that their children love them no matter what. We must therefore stop the incessant guilt of being an "executioner" when a sanction is pronounced because of stupidity.
Getting rid of the feeling of no longer being loved is imperative if you are to successfully enforce your own rules and command respect when necessary.
